Why We Must Stop Judging Appearances

And in the end, I believe that we don’t need to do anything to be loved. We spend our lives trying to seem prettier … But I realized two things. Those who love us see us with their hearts … And those who don’t want to love us will never be satisfied with all our efforts. Yes, I really believe that it is important to leave our imperfections alone. They are precious to understand those who see us with the heart. ~Frida Kahlo

Bodily imperfections: moles where they don’t belong; mustaches, barely visible but always there, especially if you’re sweating; eyes not exactly the same; a disproportionate body; gawky looks; unibrows; thin lips; et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Human beings have a terrible tendency to snap judge others in ways that are unfair to the victim, thus causing harm.

Ugliness is an abstraction. It’s subjective. It’s discriminatory, and it is emotional.

When we deem something ugly or not ugly, this means that we must go beyond one set of features about that person. We can perceive ugliness in others as literally physical. To do that would be extremely discriminatory. We must begin to see other features in others, such as personality traits and attitudes, or such as the intelligence and skill of a person. For example, someone that a person amy consider physically ugly may likewise be attractive or beautiful in other ways.

Famous action actress, Angelina Jolie, may be physically attractive to many but to many, she may also have a bitch of an attitude. (Not that she is. I don’t know her.) The point is that most of us are both ugly and beautiful at the same time. Rarely do we encounter anyone who is ugly through and through, such as murderers, rapists, and Donald Trump. Equally as rare is the nun or other super-spiritual being who has never committed a sin, like ever! (I do wonder about those people too.)

Ugliness is not perceived the same way by all people, nor by even a few of us. Each of us has a different story, therefore a different perception on what is ugly. It’s all subjective, and because it is subjective, it is highly prone to subjective inferences, so it is also discriminatory. For example, it is known that faces perceived as attractive are also seen as trustworthy. Humans are prone to consider ugly people as untrustworthy, dumb, and anti-social, which of course is seriously unfair, but that’s discrimination for you.

“… women are critiqued for being … too smart to be attractive or too attractive to be smart …”

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

There has always been a beauty stereotype throughout the history of mankind. At one time, voluptuous or very big, round women were considered beautiful. Today, it appears that the anorexic is in, a so-called beauty unattainable by most. Isn’t that, though, what beauty is all about: Maintaining the facade that others are unable to attain your particular brand of beauty.

As well, beauty in the United States is not necessarily the same “beauty” that women try to attain the places like Africa, Japan, or elsewhere. The perceptions of ugliness and beauty throughout the world are quite definately cultural.

Prettying Up

Beauty is not defined by the expertise on which you apply your makeup. It is defined mostly by one’s face, by two even eyes, an average nose (or a ski nose for some, a turned up nose for others), and a mouth not wider the width of the pupils of your eyes. Given this definition, it seems that most women are in fact beautiful, physically.

Women today really do need to stop prettying themselves up for others’ expectations. More than ample evidence exists that you should only pretty yourself up for yourself and no one else. It is good for your mental health to do things for yourself.

And, we all need to the stop snap judgements of others who don’t appeal to us in some way. Evaluate where those judgements are coming from. Then, instead, appeal to your higher self, and, remember, you are also ugly to others in this world.

Standing Up for Lizzie

The story of what many called “the ugliest woman in the world,” Lizzie Velasquez, is truly a sad testament to what we consider beautiful. That in 2016, the world of us on the internet bullied this woman with horrid words for no other reason than each of us thought she was ugly. It was despicable. Each of us discriminated against her for looks that were completely out of her control. No one found the beauty in her even eyes and eyebrows (they just noticed that one eyeball was bad.) No one paid any attention to her tremendous smile, Greek nose, her well-kept hair, her lipstick, her perfectly straight and white teeth. Her intelligence. Her beautiful demeanor.

Lizzie was born with neonatal progeroid syndrome, a clear and obvious fact from her physicality, but no one empathized with that. Instead, most people mocked her … when she was only 17. Imagine how you would have felt if you thought the whole world considered you ugly. Would you have survived that? Would you still be alive after an onslaught, like what happened to Lizzie?

Fortunately, she rose above the stupidity of most people when it comes to beauty. Stupidity!? Yes. To judge someone’s beauty based on just one aspect is unfair bullying behavior, especially when we’re talking about something as subjective worldwide as physical beauty. We can do better as human beings and ought to whenever we can.